Thin to me, and thin to everyone else

To me this is just the obvious thing to strive for. Right? This is the biggest problem. It's a conflict between, do I was to look good to me and have everyone else think I look "disgustingly thin," or do I want to look good to everyone else and when I look in the mirror think I look morbidly obese? It's not much of a choice because it's so hard to stop anyway.