I miss my dog.

I mean, We've had her since I was seven, It seems like we have had her forever. We've lost fish. Hamsters...lots of hamsters. But we never thought that Iris would die. I never thought that it would hurt so much. She's just a dog right? December 9th of this year was when we first noticed something was wrong, and they said she wouldn't last til the end of the week. She didn't. We put her down a few day's later. I slept with her on the floor at night so she wouldn't be alone. I took her for her last walk, and I hugged her sobbing until my dad pulled her away to take for her last trip to the vets. She was happy because she was going for a ride. I remember my mom and I crying, and I screamed as I saw her go out the door, and the car drive away. Seems stupid- I know. I didn't know what else to do, it hurt too much. I cried so much, I couldn't eat a thing for weeks....and no one tried to make me. My tears covered everything, especially the little wooden box they put her ashes in that we put downstairs in the basement, on her bed. The house feels so empty. I miss her so much. It was only three and a half months ago...it seems like it's happening right now, again. I've been dreaming about her a lot lately, I wake up thinking I'm petting her. I read this poem, and I burst into tears.

I'M STILL HERE
I stood beside your bed last night
I came to have a peek
I could see that you were crying
You found it hard to sleep
I whined to you softly
As you brushed away a tear
"It's me, I haven't left you,
I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."
I was close to you at breakfast
I watched you pour the tea
You were thinking of the many times
Your hands reached down to me
I was with you at the shops today
Your arms were getting sore
I longed to take your parcels
I wish I could do more
I was with you at my grave today
You tend it with such care
I want to reassure you
That I'm not lying there
I walked with you toward the house
As you fumbled for your key
I gently put my paw on you
I smiled and said "It's me."
You looked so very tired
And sank into a chair
I tried so hard to let you know
That I was standing there
It's possible for me to be
So near you everyday
To say to you with certainty
"I never went away."
You sat there very quietly
Then you smiled, I think you knew
In the stillness of that evening
I was very close to you.
The day is over...
I smile and watch you yawning
And say "Good night, God bless,
I'll see you in the morning."
And when the time is right
For you to cross the brief divide
I'll rush across to greet you
And we'll stand side by side
I have so many things to show you
There is so much for you to see
Be patient, live your journey out
And then come home to be with me

                                                         My little yellow Iris-dog.