"Do you do it for the guys?" No. No I don't.

Only a few of my close friends know about my eating disorder. I think maybe five outside of my family and they've known for about a year. But the thing is, I kinda wish that they didn't know now, because people who don't have this disease have no idea what it's like. I was talking to my friend Ann today at lunch and she asked how things were going with my ED, and I was like. "Ok I guess." (she thinks I'm still trying to recover) "I think I may have lost a little weight but I don't think it's enough to be hospitalized again." And she was like: "Why do you do it? Is it for the guys? Because it really isn't attractive." I wanted to slap her!!! What the hell, no that isn't why I stave myself!! Sure, I think my life would be better if I was extremely underweight, that includes my love life, but that isn't even close to why I do it. I tried to explain that it is my coping mechanism, I put all of my effort into it so I don't have to deal with other problems. I am addicted to it, it's a mental disorder not my choice. And she say's: "Well, can't you just stop?" ..... :[ ..... Need I continue? This same friend also pointed out that I'm "totally not the type to have anorexia" I'm just too normal and smart and put together. News flash sweetie, eating disorders don't discriminate. Gah. I guess that just gets to me. I mean honestly, doesn't it get to you guy's when people do that? My friends who don't know about my ED are always joke: "anorexic airheads" and "She's so gross I bet she's Bulimic."