When I eat, I want to die.
When I don't eat I feel like a tired weakling.
When I weigh myself I want to die.
If I don't weigh myself I want to die.
If I loose weight I get closer and closer to winning.
No matter how much I try, I will never loose enough. I always loose.
Anorexia is a double sided knife. Anorexia is the only thing that will make me happy. And I can never be happy. Why would people think that I chose this for myself? I feel so old at sixteen. Old. I don't want to ever age. I've wasted so much time suffering with this, and it will never go away. I want to be a little kid again. I don't want to think. I want Ana to go away and never come. But I can't live with out her.
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