Riding in a police car to the hospital

Okay guys, yesterday was the worst day ever! It was so bad! Let me first say in case any of you didn't know this- when you call 911 the police will come, even if you hang up. I wasn't aware of this. See, because I got my wisdom teeth out I didn't take my prozac (anti-depressants) for a week and a half. I just stopped cold turkey. On Wednesday I was told that I hadn't gotten a scholarship that I had tried really hard to get (I worked so hard, and I got second- so if the winner decides that they can't have it they can give it to me). And I was sad, but I was really pissed off when I found out who had won it- because she's a jerk. And I ended up cutting myself- first time in a LONG time. The next day I made the mistake of telling my guidance counselor at school this. She was like "OMG OMG you have to tell your mom, I'll call her tomorrow to make sure you did." :( So I came home after working at the soup kitchen for hours, and I was tired, and I told my mom. She knows that I was a cutter, but she freaked and made the mistake of telling my dad, who doesn't know how to deal with thing like this. He started screaming at me, telling me that I was an immature idiot and that I should be smart enough to just stop. My mom was like: "I don't want her anymore, I don't want to go through this again. I want her locked up!" This was said in a moment of anger. My mom to be honest should never have been a mother. She likes little kids, but she has no clue how to handle anything. In a moment of crisis I have always had to be the one to step up to the plate and take charge. She couldn't understand that all I needed to calm down was for people to stop screaming at me and...I don't know, a group hug. So I told them that I needed to go to the crisis center and talk to someone. They refused, and my dad dragged me to my room by my hair and threw me on the floor (we're not a terrible family, we all just have horrible coping skills. So I was desperate and I didn't know what to do, and I took my cell phone out and called 911. And I freaked out because they said they had to send people, so I was blubbering to the poor 911 dude about how I didn't want them to come here, and that I just wanted to watch Glee and go to bed, and that I couldn't go to the hospital because I had school the next day....and I kept telling him to tell them to turn off their freaking sirens because they were scaring me. lol, we live in a quiet town, I could hear them coming. So they came and the nice police lady said that she had to take me to the emergency room. She wanted me to sit in the back of the police car so I turned to her and said "Your kidding right? You want me to ride in the cage?" She must have realized that there was no way in hell because she let me sit up front- first person to sit in the passenger seat ever, woot! So I went to the hospital, was bothered by a lot of doctors, took a nap. In the end they told me I could leave because the crisis team wouldn't get there until 11:00 and my mom said we weren't going to wait. But the ER is no joke!! There was a lady giving birth in one of the rooms and she was screaming so loud, and this girl who had gotten in an accident so she was all tied down. And there I was all huddled in the corner all horrified.

And that concludes my horrible day... On the bright side I got to skip dinner no problem. But really it got me thinking about my parents. They're not going to take much more of this. They're just going to give up on me and not care anymore, and I don't want it to get to that point! I don't want to hurt them. I;m convinced  that my dad hates me and that my brother thinks I'm and weirdo and is embarrassed to call me his sister. But I can't stop! I can't be hospitalized again. I'm not getting weighed in anymore so maybe no one will notice when I hit 90 pounds? Gah.